10. I use my humor for positive, playful, uplifting, healing and loving purposes.

9. I take myself lightly while I take my work seriously.

8. I always understand that humor is fun, so I am rarely offended by other’s attempts at humor. Life is too short anyway!

7. I laugh out loud every day and express my humor physically, using my whole face and with my entire body.

6. I understand humor is not to camouflage hostility or prejudice.

5. I laugh generously at other’s attempts to be humorous because I believe that laughter is a treasured gift.

4. I have a disciplined sense of joy in being alive. My good sense of humor helps to keep me joyful in a true and honest way.

3. My good judgment keeps me from using offensive humor.

2. I am a terrific at using humor to cope, to survive, to heal, to grow and to pass on loving-kindness.

1. At the end of the day, I look back and know that I laughed lovingly, fully and well and that I was able to see the absurdities in life and turn them into something to laugh about.

     I pushed back each hanger looking at the item on it and finding it either too warn, to flashy for a funeral, too short, too long or too tight. Anything that actually fit me had a stain on it. I headed to the mall to buy an outfit to take with me on my trip.
In my hurry to get something and get back home to pack, I ran smack into a curb going a bit too fast and tore a hole in my tire the size of Texas. It deflated in seconds along with my desire to shop. Now I had an hour and twenty minutes to sit in my car and wait for AAA to come to my rescue. Back home, I entered the closet in the hopes something would magically appear. It did. I found a lovely outfit perfect for a funeral. A black jersey tank, black pants and a black jacket all with the tags still on. I topped it off with a neckless and bracelet duo that, quite honestly, I can’t remember ever seeing before. I tried it all on to make sure it fit. What a great outfit. Why haven’t I ever worn this before? And what in the world did I head out to the mall for in the first place when I had perfectly good clothes hanging in the closet? I think it’s a need vs. want problem I’ve got. I didn’t need new clothes, I just wanted them. I recently bought a lovely blue skirt and when I went to hang it in my closet I noticed I had the same exact skirt already hanging there. I wondered how many other things I’ve purchased ‘just because’.

I picked up a purse I’d recently purchased. It was over priced but oh la la I loved it. I went back in the store three times and just carried it around before I finally bought it. Mind you I have purses on display in the closet I haven’t used in years. I had to buy an four foot hanging jewelry box to accommodate all my jewelry. And don’t even get me started on the shoes! The thing is; I wear the same clothes and the same shoes and the same jewelry over and over and the rest of this stuff just sits there.
It’s not just clothing that I waste my money on. I buy books. Hundreds of books. And I just can’t seem to ever let them go. I love to read. I normally have three or four books that I am in the middle of reading at all time. Now you and I both know there is this place called the library where they let you take books home and read them for free. But see, you have to return them and that is where I have difficulty. Why do I hoard books?
And then there are the kitchen gadgets. I’ve got one that will squeeze every bit of juice from a lemon or orange in seconds, another that will liquify a clove of garlic, still another that can fool a radish into thinking she’s a flower. I counted 67 different kitchen gadgets in one drawer. I don’t need any of them. I just want them. I have four complete sets of dishes plus a set of 110 glass dishes packed away in the cellar. I use them for my garden parties in the summer. I wanted 110 of my friends to all have matching glass dishes. They are packed next to 110 white linen napkins and 14 white linen tablecloths. ….haven’t had a garden party in about three years.
I noticed this morning that I have 17 different brands of partially used shampoo. The list goes on. I’m going to work on figuring out why I buy so much stuff. I’m also going to try to use up what I have in every area of the house. I hope I change my ways, but if not, my daughter is going to have one heck of a garage sale when I die. I’m only sad I won’t be here for it, because I’m sure I’d find something great to buy!

Laughing it up with the mogul

When we think, ‘Shark Tank’ we think vicious, heartless, ruthless and cold.  In truth, my opinion of Shark Tank star Barbara Corcoran, is just the opposite.

Yesterday at the WISE (Women Igniting the Spirit of Entrepreneurship) Conference I was privileged to spend 30 minutes with the woman who turned $1,000 loan into a multi-billion dollar business. Barbara was the keynote speaker and shared her knowledge of business and success on the platform.  However it was at the authors table I shared with her, that really showed me who the woman behind the pink suit and bright lights really was.

When she sat down next to me she took the time to shake my hand and introduce herself (as if I didn’t know who she was).  She immediately made me feel I had every right to sit beside her. As the line formed before her, she kicked off her high heals and went to work.  She signed autographs, took pictures and accepted ‘gifts’ from the mile long line waiting for a turn with the Mogul.  She was as gracious and kind to the first woman, as she was with the last, giving each one her full attention and beautiful smile.  When one women proceeded to hold up the line telling Barbara a very long story about her new invention,  Barbara sweetly asked her to step to the side and said,” I’m listening and paying full attention, please continue.” Then she proceeded to smile and sign a book for the next in line.

In the  30 minutes we shared, she was given at least 25 gift bags from her fans.  She turned to me and whispered, “There not really gifts, they are products hoping to be the next big thing.” and then she winked at me.  She told me she takes them all home with her and has someone look them over.  I wondered if the ladies in line knew exactly how lucky they were to have the opportunity to showcase their products to a women who had the power to make them into millionaires.

Barbara Corcoran had every right to act like a diva.  She could have demanded in her contract to have special bottled water waiting for her at the table.  She could have left the moment her contracted time was met.  She had the right to say, ‘no pictures’, and could have asked for an assistant to help her at the book table (to keep the crazies away), but she didn’t do any of that.  Instead she made us all fall in love with her by being kind, gracious, interested and genuine.

The advice she shared in her keynote wasn’t much different from the advice I heard several years ago from CEO Jack Welsh. It didn’t surprise me that these two very powerful people had the same ideas about success in business. It was what I learned after her keynote that will stay with me.  That is to always be kind, gracious, interested and genuine.  In my opinion that is what makes Barbara Corcoran a hero and someone to aspire to.

When I went to leave I handed her my latest book and said, “Something for you to read on the plane.”  She not only thanked me, she hugged and kissed me goodbye!  She made me feel like we were dear old friends.  Barbara Corcoran knows how to make life long fans. I loved her!

It was 1995 and I was booked at Hiccups Comedy Room in Rochester NewYork. The comic before me was very dirty. He got major laughs. I went up and started my set. I was afraid I wouldn’t get any laughs unless I was dirty, so I did some material that I’d never done before. I tossed some curse words around in the attempt to get laughs.Larry Miller was the headliner that night. After the show he asked if he could talk to me. He said, “You don’t need to be dirty, because that’s not who you are. Tell the stories of your family. That’s funny and that’s truth. Dirty won’t advance your career, but funny will.” It was great advice. He said, “Be honest. Be yourself. Be Funny.” Larry went on to have a very successful career acting in The Princess Diaries, Boston Legal, Pretty Woman, The nutty Professor and more. I never forgot his advice or his kindness.

I’ve built my entire career around his wise words. Just be yourself. I’ve found that life is pretty darn funny as it is. There is no need to make stuff up and ‘try’ to be funny. Just look around. See the funny and then make a note of it, because sooner or later you’ll be able to make a joke out of it.

On this April Fools Day I think it’s a good time to look within your self and take note of who you really are. Ask yourself if you are being true to the real you. Or are you trying to please someone else? Are you doing what you think is expected? Are you working hard to offer what is wanted?

Life is so much easier and so much more profitable when you can relax and truly be yourself. I say profitable because as Larry taught me truth sells. People will buy into you when you are being truthful. Sales person, doctor, preacher, teacher or motivational speaker; you will only be successful if you are being honest about who you really are. You may experience some small successes but lasting success will only come from honesty. So here’s my question on this April Fools Day…. are you fooling anyone? Don’t be a fool, be yourself.

at the podium

Don Hewitt who was the creator and Executive producer of TV’s 60 MInutes said he made that show a hit with only four words: “Tell Me A Story” Everyone has a story. In fact we all have many stories. Stories that teach us a lesson, changed our lives, that gave us an ‘aha’ moment or simply gave us a laugh. You need to locate your story and find a way to make it matter to your audience. People want to be moved and inspired and entertained. They want to believe in something better. It’s your job to make them believe in you. They have to know that you have the answer, the solution to their problems. Show them that you have a better idea, a better way.
A Presentation is simply a conversation with an objective. A winning presentation will persuade your audience to share your point of view and to take action. As speakers we are just connection makers. We connect people with ideas that will help them live better lives. Even though you are telling your story the audience is thinking why should I care about this? You have to put yourself in their seats and hear your presentation from their point of view. Because your audience is saying, “So What?” In my keynote I talk about me, my family, my experiences, my past but I make sure that the experiences I talk about are all things the audience can relate to. They hear me talk about my childhood but they are thinking about their own. I talk about my sister getting all stressed about about something and they see themselves. I talk about loosing my home to the bank and having to start at the bottom again and they see themselves and so you show them how you got through it they then see themselves getting past whatever situation they may be in. it’s a simple as that. Give your audience a reason to listen to you.
I can’t wait to get out there and do a keynote in front of 100′s of people. I know the people are going to love it. They are going to laugh their asses off and they are going to be entertained and they are going to learn something. I work very hard making sure I can deliver the most thought provoking, emotional, energy charged presentation possible. It has absolutely nothing to do with the enormous amount of money they pay me to do this. It never has ever had anything to do with the money.

Recently I put together a class to teach others how to get into the speaking industry. I worked very hard getting my material together, I managed to score big time and got a Ryan Prucker to come in from Washington, DC to talk about marketing and branding. I gave this book to them included in the price of only $100 per person for the full day class. One of the students, Trudy asked me how could I afford to do the class for only $100 a person. It’s because this class has nothing to do with money. We priced it so that it would pay for itself. But our goal wasn’t to make money on it. I’m excited that I can have a day to sit down with people who are serious about becoming speakers and talk to them about becoming great keynote speakers. It really pisses me off that there are so many people out in the world who really suck at this and they are all working. I don’t want anyone who is part of our speaker bureau to be one of those speakers. I want Humor Advantage Speakers to be doing this for the right reason and then I know they will be really successful awesome speakers.

Great leaders gather people together in the hopes of a better future. You are a leader if you have a burning desire to make this world a better place. If you are dissatisfied with the way things are and you want to create change, if you have a vivid picture in your mind of how things should be and you can show that picture to your audience in such a way that they believe it is possible, then you will be a great keynote speaker. Your passion and your excitement will create excitement and passion in your audience, and bingo you’ve got them! Remember it’s not about you, it’s about how your experience or your vision can help others. Man just the thought of this excites me.

Outline for a Killer Keynote:

Tell Me A Story

• What have you done?
• What did you learn?
• What is your vision?

Expose Yourself

• Become human in front of your audience
• Connect with them by telling stories they can relate to
• What’s the problem you faced or are facing now?

Make It Matter

• So what? Why do they care?
• What will happen to them?
• How will it change their life?
• How does what you have to say effect them?

Call To Action

• Offer solutions & benefits
• What do you want your audience to do differently?
• When do you want them to do it?

STRESSED

I spent the first third of my life worrying about how I looked. Worrying if any boy was ever going to like me and worrying about silly things like are my legs the same size and when will I ever have boobs as big as my sisters.
The second third of my life I worried about my kids. What if they get sick? What if I don’t have enough money to feed them? What if they grow up and don’t like me? What if they get involved with the wrong kids? What if someone hurts them? I’ve worried about job interviews, germs, deadlines and bills. I’ve even worried about having my home spotless when company comes. All my worrying never did a bit of good, in fact the time I spent worrying was wasted and added to my stress, which added to my declining health.
In recent years I have made a conscious choice to spend my time more wisely and my life more enjoyably. I hope after you read this you’ll be able to give up worrying and stressing out as well, because the truth is…no one needs to worry. And here’s why. Worry will not solve a problem or help you to find a solution, in fact it inhibits you from thinking clearly. Matthew 6:27 “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? I think not.” When you worry it just weighs you down. More importantly, to worry is just the opposite of trusting God. Think about that. If you really trust your God, why are you worrying about anything? He is in control. Take all that energy you use to worry and replace it with prayer. Prayer+Worry=Trust in God.
Philippians 4:6 “Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
When our children defiantly refuse to do as we ask, when our boss doesn’t appreciate our work, when our spouse won’t relinquish the remote, we feel that our lives are out of control we feel stressed. That stress is not completely useless. At least it tells us that we may have drifted a bit in our faith. It may be a sign to spend more time talking with Jesus about our situation. Our heavenly Father knows all our needs. He has a plan for our life and He is working to guide us into that plan. Ask yourself if you are depending on Him for your daily strength? Matthew 11:28 Jesus said, “Come to me all who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest.” Be grateful for all that you have in your life. Lastly, we were not created to live life worried or stressed out. We were put on this earth to live from a place of joy. Take some action today to bring more joy into your life and reduce that stress level.
If you are in the Syracuse area join us on March 24th for the 2nd Annual Day of Joy Women’s Conference for an in-depth study on removing stress and worry from life. Call 315.487.3771 for tickets or more information or go to www.dayofjoy.org. Take action.

I have decided to do seven things differently from today on. I never want to get to the end of another year and think…gee what did I do with that year? Did I simply spin wheels or did I make a difference? I want to see some real changes, notice an area where my input made a difference. I’ve always been one to choose happiness, look at the positive and be grateful for all I have-it’s been my way of life. This year I have seven things I want to add to my way of life. I want to create some habits that bring real satisfaction and a feeling of accomplishment by December 31st.

2012 is the year I will Dream Big! I have a new book coming out soon and this one will be the vehicle that will get me national attention. I claim that in the name of Jesus! I’m dreaming big in 2012.

I vow to Eat to Live instead of live to eat. I want to be aware of the foods I consume this year and make a conscious decision to eat them, instead of eating blindly just because it’s there in front of me. I’m not going on a ‘diet’ because they don’t work. But I am going to change my eating habits. I have read enough books and magazines to know the good foods from the bad. I really have no excuse. Won’t it feel good at the end of the year to say I have a habit of eating healthy?

I’d really like to Take Up a Cause. Vera House has a mission to end all domestic and sexual violence, to assist families in crisis, to support those affected by domestic and sexual violence to live safe, self-sufficient lives, to empower women and children, and to promote a culture of equality and respect in all relationships. I think that’s a wonderful mission and I’d like to spend a good portion of my time this year helping out at Vera House in any way that I can.

This one may make you gasp. I’m going to Take Chances! I’m doing something wild this year. By December 31st 2012 I am going to skydive. Yep, jump out of a plane. Crazy I know but I really want to do it. I can’t imagine how I’ll get the nerve, but I’m going to do it.

This year I want to End All Worry. I have always believed that a person who worries and frets over things must not have a great faith. I don’t really worry much, except, I do find myself worrying about my grandchildren. I’m going to give that up. I know God has my grandchildren in His hands. I have no reason to worry.

The most difficult change I am making is in my ability to Practice Patience. I’ve always been a fast girl. (Not that kind of fast girl.) I walk fast, eat fast, work fast and talk fast. I can get something done before you even realize it needs doing. That’s all well and good but I expect everyone else to be fast too. It is very hard for me to sit patiently and wait for anything but I will. Patience is a virtue after all.

Lastly, I know I need to Be Humble. It’s rather difficult to be an enthusiastic, positive, over achiever and humble at the same time, but I’m told it can be done. I need to believe in myself, but I need to remind myself, I am not doing this alone. All things come from Him. All things.

Here’s wishing all of you a blessed, healthy and prosperous New Year!



I think many times we haven’t a clue how fortunate we are in this country. I hear so much whining and complaining about our government, our jobs, housing and the market, so I thought I’d just bring a few things into light for us to think about on this day when we ‘pause’.

Let’s see, we live in a free country. We are able to worship in any way we see fit. We are free to have as many children as we want. We are able to send our children to colleges and universities for higher education. 70% of us are homeowners. Over 30 million of us are business owners. Don’t get me started on how many pair of shoes we have in the bottom of the closet! Our standard of living is one of the top 20 in the entire world. We enjoy more cars and radios per capita than any other nation and more televisions and computers per capita than any large nation. We are very lucky people to have been born into this kind of wealth and plenty.

But here is what I want you to think about as you sit around the table that is overflowing with delicious dishes. Only 6% of the people in the world live in the US and yet we use 25% of the worlds resources. Every 3 seconds a child dies in other countries because they haven’t enough food to eat or water to drink. 50% of the world lives on less than $2.00 a day. Yep we are a fortunate people.

Just like the rest of you I am grateful. I’m grateful for my family, my health, my work and my friends. However above all, I am ever so grateful to have been born on American soil. I’m grateful to be a citizen of the United States of America where my children and grandchildren have more opportunity for good health, success and happiness than anywhere else on the earth. Just sayin’.

Prolonged stress has a negative effect on our health and well being. It can also be a determent to our family life. When we are over stressed we tend to snap at our spouse, “What is wrong with you that you have to breath like a damn dragon??” Our children, “Can you just stop talking for five minutes!” and our best friends, “Really. That’s what your wearing?”

We get stressed out when we are tired, not feeling well, running late, or when we’ve agreed to do one too many things. Basically when things are out of our control, we feel stressed. I know because I used to be exactly that way. Constantly stressed out. I’m not anymore. I’ve traded my stress for laughter, sex, vegetables and fish. I feel much better.

Just fifteen minutes a day of laughter has a positive affect on the body, mind and most importantly, our stress level. Even if you have nothing to laugh about and you force yourself to laugh out loud, you will still get all the benefits of laughter…even if nothing is funny. Fifteen major organs in your body are positively effected every time you laugh out loud. Studies show laughter improves the body’s immune system and boosts the heart rate. The simple act of laughing out loud, allows us to do the same thing that many pharmaceutical drugs do, without the cost and negative side effects.

My doctor told me recently that a good healthy sex life is essential in keeping us healthy and a great stress reliever. You who have partners….. get busy. It’s a great stress reducer. For those of us without partners..don’t stress over it. At least we don’t have to be annoyed by the way they breath!

Lastly as a rule we all need to take a closer look at the way we eat. I was told not to eat anything that comes in a box, a bag or a can. My first thought was, ..so that leaves me with carrots and celery?? Actually there are many choices that don’t come pre-packaged. I could live on fresh vegetables and salmon. Throw a sweet potato in and I’m happy. Our bodies run better on natural foods. Anything that grows from the ground along with broiled, grilled or baked fish or chicken will keep you feeling strong and working well.

My prescription for you is: Enjoy a romantic evening and a great meal. Exercise. Add a healthy dose of daily prayer, gratitude, good music and big dose of laughter and your stress should magically disappear. Mine did.

Humor Advantage Stress Busters

Have a Hearty Laugh
Turn The Music Up
Learn to Love Fish
Eat Colors (Veggies)
Be Grateful
Touch Your Toes
Hug a Tree
Entertain Good Friends
Breathe Deep
Enjoy a good sex life