Yvonne Conte's Blog

STRESS by Yvonne F. Conte

admin — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 18:44:56 +0000

Stress seems to be a big problem for people of all ages especially lately with everything that’s going on in the news. I read recently that the symptoms of too much stress in our life is excessive eating, excessive drinking not getting enough exercise and over spending…which scared me because that’s my description of a great day -a delicious meal, a good glass of wine, skip the gym, buy three pair of shoes that I don’t need and I’m happy. If you do that to an excess then you have to think about ways to reduce the stress. When you do find yourself worrying about something or getting stressed, consciously make a decision to do something fun. Force yourself to get out of the house and meet up with some funny friends or pop in a laughter filled video-Throw mama from the train, My cousin Vinny and Big Fat Greek Wedding are some of my favorites. Anything that will get you laughing out loud is a great stress reducer.
Laughter is great for your health and well being. I mean Joan Rivers is alive and Dr. Atkins is dead-right? That’s proof enough for me. If you think about the people in your own life who find a way to laugh, in most cases, they are not the same ones who get stressed out and worry a lot. They may have the same types of problems and situations in life that the stressed out people do, but they find a way to look at life differently. It’s really all about your perception – the way you look at what is happening to you and around you.
Laughter won’t change the situations in your life, but laughter may help you to see it differently and react to it differently. Changing your perception can change the outcome of a situation or how it affects you. You hear people all the time complaining about their travel experience. Everyone had ‘the worst flight ever!” No – if you had the worst flight ever you won’t be here to tell about it. I figure if the guy lands the plane and I get to get off..that was a good flight. I fly to a different city nearly every week and I never leave home without my humor tools. It’s about having fun, seeing the humor where others miss it. Why are people so surprised when the airline looses your luggage? They are going to loose your luggage, just expect it. Or you can do something about it. Take action. People wait in that circle of doom praying their black bag with a piece of red string comes out the shoot. I know with absolute certainty that mine will arrive. Mine is different. I keep one of those fake hands with the shirt attached coming out the top of my bag. Nobody ever touches my bag.
Humor is all around us. We just don’t see it because we are always thinking about something else. Everyone is on the cell phone or checking the black berry. Are they all really that important that they can’t just relax for an hour? Everyone complains that they are tired and have no time and then the airlines give us two hours to just sit and be still and instead we use that time to stir up negative emotions. The minute a flight gets delayed or we get stuck on the tarmac…. the phones come out…people cannot wait to share their misery. .I choose to have fun no matter where I go and you can’t stop me. My mom used to tell me constantly to act like a lady… but really I find it’s much more fun to act like a little child. That way you see all that humor that other people miss. People watching is a great past time. I do it all the time at airports. Try it at a local mall. The humor is endless.

Memorial Day Memories by Yvonne F.Conte

admin — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 18:19:23 +0000

For many of us memorial day means get the grill and lawn chairs out of their winter hiding place and plan a family picnic. Truly, this is a day for remembering those that have lost their lives protecting our country. I asked my mom what type of celebration they used to have when she was a little girl and I was surprised at her response.

She remembered a very special tradition. Her family and most everyone else in the small town she grew up in, walked from the church to the cemetery carrying flowers to honor the veterans who lost their lives in service to our county. She said it really was a moving experience for her as a small child, to see all the flags marking the graves of those who made the ultimate sacrifice.

So maybe this year take a minute and talk to the senior’s in your family and ask them to tell you about how they may have celebrated the holiday in the past or what this day means to them.

These memories add interesting stories to family histories. It was sort of fun to see the grandkids listening to my mother tell her story and great to see how interested they were. The older generations in our families have so much to share with us. I think we have to let them know we are interested and get them started – once you get them started, you’ll be so surprised at what they have to say.

So fire up the grill and while the sausage is sizzling – ask your family to tell you a story about the way they have celebrated in the past. You may be surprised at what you learn.

Being Kind is Contagious by Yvonne F. Conte

admin — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 18:10:14 +0000

For lent this year instead of giving something up I decided to do a random good deed a day. It was such a positive experience that I’ve decided to continue it indefinitely. Try doing something nice for someone else at least once a day. Serving others actually makes us feel good about ourselves because we know it’s the right thing to do. It could be as simple as opening a door for someone or helping with a baby stroller or letting someone go ahead of you in line. The looks on their faces and the gratitude you receive is priceless. I was in a grocery store and the woman ahead of me was a few dollars short and had to put a package of meat back. It just broke my heart. I simply handing the woman the few dollars she needed and said, “Please allow me to bless you today.” She was very surprised and thanked me over and over.

The funny part was that when I walked out of the store she was getting into a brand new Lincoln. I got a good laugh at that. It doesn’t matter if a person is in need or not – it’s still a good idea to be kind and considerate.

You can look for opportunities to serve others. The more you give to others and serve others the better your life will be. It really does come back to you ten fold.

Being generous and kind is contagious too. We started a Central New York Facebook page. Please go there, like the page and post anything kind or generous someone did for you. https://www.facebook.com/CNYKindness.Movement You can also post when you catch someone doing something kind.

Bad News Will Cause Stress by Yvonne F. Conte

admin — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 18:04:43 +0000

With all the events in Boston and in Texas this past week, I must confess, I’ve been glued to my television set. I feel I have to know what’s going on in the world but I also know, if I’m not careful I can get pretty depressed about the events in the news and it can keep me from enjoying life. Filling our heads with only bad news is very bad for our health and well being. Hearing constant bad news about the economy only makes matters worse.

I know a lot of people have tightened the belt and are trying to stretch a dollar so I wanted to offer a few ideas or tips of things to do to lighten our moods for little or no investment.

Visit a Park – There are many in every city. Syracuse has approximately 172 well maintained parks, fields, inactive cemeteries. Take a picnic lunch a Frisbee and the dog and enjoy an afternoon at the park. Take a walk around your city and teach your kids about Architecture. We have some really beautiful buildings in Syracuse. For example the Niagara Mohawk Building which is the best example of art deco in NYS and arguably in America. Every city has beautiful Cathedrals and churches to see, train stations, art galleries and museums.
These are some ideas of things to do that wont break the bank and just may introduce a young person to a life long bobbie or career.

I’m going to leave you with an Earl Nightingale quote:
“Everything that is really worthwhile in life comes to us free – our minds, our souls, our bodies, our hopes, our dreams, our love of family and friends – all of these priceless possessions are free.”

Simple Ideas That Bring Happiness by Yvonne F.Conte

admin — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 17:43:05 +0000

Several years ago I thought about what to get my mother for her birthday. I thought , what would make her happy? She LOVES to get mail. I emailed all my friends and asked them to send her a birthday card. She was over the moon happy to get the cards. Everyday she would call me to tell me who sent a card. So many people took the time to write a little note inside and it really meant so much to her. She ended up receiving over 100 cards and it gave her more joy than any gift I could have bought her. The great thing is that the cards have been coming now for three weeks and she’s had something to look forward to each day. On one day she got about 20 cards and she said, “The post office is going to wonder what’s going on!”

My friendTheresa told me when she turned 50 her sister did a similar thing and sent her a card every day for several months leading up to her birthday and they were like happy 90th birthday happy 100th birthday, really funny. Theresa plans to buy a big box of cards and have all her clients sign them throughout the year and send her sister all the cards on one day. This is such an easy way to really have a lot of fun.
Then on top of all that fun one of my girlfriends in florida who got the email misunderstood it and sent me a birthday card but the funny part was she got a silly card with two old ladies under hair dyers misunderstanding each other – Here she did the typical old lady thing and totally misunderstood the email! I got so much laughter out of that one idea!

Mothers day is coming up and I have a great gift idea. How often do we think about something our mom did for us or said to us? We always intend to let her know we are thinking of her but our lives get so busy and we never make the call. Sounds familiar?

Let me share with you what I did for my mom one year. I started writing love notes whenever had a fond memory of mom – just a short story about something she did or said or something she taught me. I collected the love notes put them in a pretty box and gave it to mom with a note that said, “When ever you think of me, take out one of these notes to read and know that I am thinking of you.”
This is a marvelous way to connect with the most important person in your life – your mama. It can be a simple childhood memory like this one;

Voice of an Angel

Somehow when your mom and dad named you Angela, they must have known that one day you would have the voice of an angel. I have always loved to hear you sing mom. You were blessed with a talent that most people don’t have. Sing out Mom – when you are by yourself just put that music on and sing your heart out. When I’m there, surprise me with a song. I love to hear you sing – I always have.
Beautiful harmony filled our home because of your love of music. Thanks for the melodies. Play that piano and sing out and pass that beautiful music on down the line to the little ones when they come to visit.

It’s just that simple. The thing is we don’t ordinarily express how we feel about the people in our life. The simple things. But it’s these little stories that will really mean something to the person who gets the love note. So send your mom a little love this year for Mother’s Day.

There’s FUN in DysFUNctional by Yvonne Conte

admin — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 11:44:52 +0000

Words with a “K” sound in it are funny. “Cupcake” is funny…“Tomato” is not funny. —Neil Simon, The Sunshine Boys

If we can change our mood, we can change our future. Living in the past is like driving into the future looking in the rearview mirror. This is helpful advice, but how do we take control of the situation with humor? How can we turn a difficult task into an easy one? This next story illustrates how a man turned an otherwise annoying situation into a great, funny story.

A speeding motorist caught by a roadside camera tried to play a little joke when police sent him a speeding ticket. The notice included a photograph of the car, the date, the speed, and demanded payment of a fine. The motorist sent back a picture of a check.

Police sent back a photograph of handcuffs. The motorist got the message and mailed the real check. The story appeared in countless papers, bringing laughter to its readers.
When you’re in the middle of an upsetting situation, take a moment to find something funny about it. Laugh at the negative situations that happen.

I’m a pretty relaxed, down-to-earth person when I am at home, but when at these big conventions, I’m dealing with highly sophisticated, well…I call them big shots. I try hard not to say something stupid and act like an idiot. But no matter how hard I try to be sophisticated and polished, my true self always emerges. A woman that I’d been working with suggested we go get massages after the conference. This fancy spa is so relaxing with fountains, soft music, and scented candles. It’s beautiful. She introduces me to the masseuse and we go into our separate rooms. I lay down on the table, and this gal is doing such a great job— that I fell asleep.
She had to wake me to tell me to turn over. She lifted the sheet so that I could roll over, but I’m so disoriented because I just woke up that I roll away from her, instead of towards her and I fall off the table. She drops the sheet and grabs one of my feet and one of my arms to keep me from hitting the floor. She was quick. Here I am hanging off the table, naked as a jaybird. How do you recover from that kind of humiliation? All I could do is laugh. She said, “Are you alright?” I said, “Oh, honey, this happens to me all the time. My life is a never-ending sitcom. Let’s just get back on the table and finish this up.” We get in the car to head back to the hotel and the woman that I was working with, after hearing all the commotion asks me, “What was all that racket in there?” And I said, “Oh, that. That was my self-esteem falling off the table.”

Transforming your workplace one giggle at a time by Yvonne Conte

admin — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 11:41:22 +0000

An ancient Chinese proverb states that “A person without a smiling face must not open a shop.” That makes sense. We frequent places where people make us feel good, where people give us a smile, remember our name, maybe even say something nice. I have my morning coffee at an adorable little café filled with the aroma of freshly baked pastries and dark brewed coffee. The coffee is so strong I have to dilute it with water, and pastries are a little too high in fat for me, I still love going there for one reason: the sweet Italian lady who works there. She hugs me and tells me I look beautiful. I need that more than coffee most mornings. She asks me what I’m up to, asks about my children, sisters and mom. I noticed she does this with everyone, however, I like to think I’m special and she just really likes me. It’s a great way to begin my day on a high note and with a smile.A happy heart makes the face cheerful. —Proverbs 17:22

The Secret in your child’s head by Yvonne Conte

admin — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 11:40:59 +0000

Do you snap the minute something goes wrong? Are you the first to panic when you’re late? Do you worry about things before they happen? It’s time to look for some relief by spending time with children. They can amuse, tickle and thrill themselves with a shoelace, three margarine tubs and a broken yo-yo, and so can you, if you open your eyes. Our world is filled with situations ripe for our pure enjoyment. Children are masters at finding that joy everywhere.
Author Ashley Montagu says, “By learning to act more like a child, human beings can revolutionize their lives becoming for the first time, perhaps, the kinds of creatures their heritage has prepared them to be—youthful all the days of their lives.”
Adults oftentimes feel that giggles and guffaws are sort of like, Starbucks – nice to have, but not a luxury most of us can afford. We have bills to pay, goals to achieve, people to please. Simple pleasures of knock-knock jokes, amusing pratfalls and adeptly censored one-liners are frivolous and unnecessary. My niece and her husband were on their way back to New York after a vacation at Disney. Her four children were securely buckled into their seats when the plane came into rough weather. As the plane jumped threw the air, passengers held on for dear life. Panic, fear and shock was prevalent throughout the cabin. Immediately the kids began to raise their hands up over their heads and shout in unison, “Weeeeeeeee, Weeeeeeee.” The tiny tots giggled and continued to raise their arms over their heads each time the plane hit an air pocket. The children decided to make the most of the situation, while the adults chose to be frightened. When the passengers noticed the children’s reaction, they too began to laugh. The more people laughed, the less stress there was in the cabin.
The same thing was happening to both the children and adults in the plane. They were all being rocked about due to the choppy weather. The difference was, the kids decided to enjoy the ride. By observing children we are reminded to enjoy all of life, even in difficult times. It matters not what your circumstances are, you have the power to enjoy life right now, in this moment. Make a choice to find the funny side of life. Try thinking like a little child. The next time you get together for a family dinner, sit at the children’s table. It’s more fun there. Maintain your youthful enthusiasm all the days of your life; lighten up you’ll live longer.

Laugh, Chuckle, Repeat! by Yvonne Conte

admin — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 11:40:13 +0000

Humor is a skill that requires daily repetition and practice. What’s the one thing we have control over? Our actions. The way in which we respond to a situation. We have the power of choice. We can either choose to use the skills or choose to find an excuse not to.
If you recognize what makes you laugh, how will that improve your humor skills? Easy. Open up your eyes, ears, nose, and all of your senses. Be ready to find the funny. Your sense of humor is simply your ability to see the absurdity in difficult situations. My most stressful situation is driving. I’m always on a mission; everyone else is on vacation. I get behind the guy who likes to slow down for the garage sale but never quite pulls over. To be careful that I don’t boil over When I’m stuck in a traffic jam, I keep my stress-buster in the glove compartment. While waiting for traffic to move, I put on my red clown nose and wait for the driver next to me to react. If I’m on the Garden State Parkway, it takes a while before anyone looks at me. When they do, some still don’t laugh, so I put on my Smile-on-a-Stick.
That usually does the trick. It makes me laugh. It passes time without getting me all worked up. I have accomplished something. I’ve made someone laugh who probably was as stressed out as I was. It works.
You may think this is not what normal people do. You’re right, who wants to be normal? Only dead fish swim with the stream! Shakespeare said, “Things are neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so.” If you think acting a bit wacky will help you through the day, it will. You can be different. You can be creative. You can get wacky. You can go bananas. It works. Your humor skills allow you to take yourself lightly while taking your work seriously. Put a little zip in your step. Spread some joy around the office. Giggle; smile for no apparent reason; be happy.

The Power of Humor by Yvonne Conte

admin — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 11:39:20 +0000

A woman came up to me after a presentation shared this story about the loss of her husband. She said, “My husband died last year. I cried non-stop. I was making myself sick, I cried so much. My heart was broken. He was my soul mate, my love. I didn’t know how to live without him. For a change of pace, my sister-in- law invited me to go to the Bahamas. I stopped crying and enjoyed the few days in the sun. On our last night, in a crowded restaurant, everyone was having a great time, the music was beautiful, the view of the ocean was lovely, the food was delicious and I thought…my husband would have just loved this.” At that moment, I burst into uncontrollable tears. People stopped talking and looked over at me. The waitress came to the table with the check and she sort of froze, and my sister-in-law looked up at the waitress and said, “She does this every time the check comes.” At that moment, I burst into laughter-uncontrollable laughter.” That is the positive power of humor.